A Life Riddle

Buzzing Flies

If something you are doing is not working, doing more of it will not work better. When you get tired of banging your head against a wall, you will look for a door. - Alan Cohen

Who's to say what 'not working' is? When I was eight, I was with Dad and some other men, removing the last few valuables from an old house. I listened to the stories about when it was built and had people living there. Twenty years later, it was still there with only one wall standing.

That fall day, after the first frost, Indian Summer, I was sitting on an old sofa in what must have been the living room. There was a chill in the air, and with the sun coming in, the couch was warm, and I reveled in the mix of warm and cool. The window next to the sofa was made up of 16 panes of glass, each in its frame. There were only three panes intact. All the rest were empty and open to the outside. As the room warmed, house flies appeared, and on each pane, one single fly banged and buzzed all over the pane of glass. When I shooed a fly to the open space, it would come back in and continue to dance on the window pane. Eventually, another fly would set down on the glass, the two would 'argue' about something, and one would fly over to an open pane and go outside. Never more than two and briefly, each pane had a fly banging and buzzing, mesmerizing me.

What was the purpose, the reason for it? They were not stuck inside. They had to know the way out. Were they attempting to push the glass out like the other thirteen missing panes? What was the argument or conversation between the two that had one stay and one leave?

Lost in the pondering, Dad walked in, and it was time to return to help. "What were you watching?" he asked, seeing me staring out the window. "The flies banging and buzzing on the three window panes next to Freedom. Reminds me of my three sisters." They were 7, 6, and 5, then. Dad said, "They'll have to find their way out too."

On a similar fall day, twenty years later, the window was still part of the only wall standing, and one pane of glass remained. Two flies buzzed and banged on the pane. There was no room intact. Everything was outside. This time, there was a fly on each side of the glass. Were they now attempting to keep it in place?

This is It
and I am It
and You are It
and so is That
and He is It
and She is It
and It is It
and That is That.

- James Broughton